Community in the Nepalese and Indian way

Six weeks full of diversity, contradictions and… expansion. Next to the breathtaking views of the Himalayas or the Ganga, you can find piles of dirt and garbage. Next to the very modern Starbucks cafes, you can see women on the road wearing groceries on their heads. Next to the houses wrapped in poverty, you can hear children laughing, playing and being the happiest people on this planet.

Nepal and India are definitely countries that challenge your senses with their many colours, sounds, smells and tastes. But most of all, they challenge your sense of self, of how you see the world and people around you. There is something pulling you like a magnet, even when you are losing and rediscovering yourself in these countries. You see things in a new perspective, or you receive a new meaning of things. And after spending almost 2 months there, for me this definitely was the case for one word: Community.

Sadhana Yoga Reatreat, Pokhara, Nepal

“You know, Lia, we are like spiders” said to me my dear Nepalese host Durga during my 5 days silent retreat. “We create our webs, we weave it, and weave it, until we are… stuck in there. We can’t get out, and we die in our own creation.” What struck me in this simple words was their truth. In our Western society we have the tendency to create our own problems and sufferings, to complain from things that we were asking for, and to isolate ourselves to deal with our difficulties. We lost our connection to ourselves, the intimacy with others and the strong link to world around us.

And for me, this is the exact opposite of what living in a meaningful and connected way is, or the “Nepalese and Indian way”. My trip in these beautiful and challenging countries (oh, how challenging indeed!) was a wake-up call for me as a community builder. It was such an inspiration to be in a place, where people breathe, speak, and embody Community so strongly, that you can’t ignore it.

Women created a chain to help each other gift flowers in a Hindu temple, Kathmandu, Nepal

But what do I mean exactly? When I talk about living in connection, I don’t suggest only with other human beings. It’s a holistic approach, and what the people in these countries impressed me with is their gentleness and respect to everything around them. Nature is their friend, animals are their friend, even strangers are their friends in times of need. There is a deeper understanding of their individual role in the world, how their actions and non-actions influence everything. And for them community is not about gaining, it’s about giving, it’s an unconditional respect, trust, honour and helpfulness towards others.

“Sometimes we get so focused on ourselves and our own drama. But we lose the bigger picture that we are one small piece in the puzzle - for sure an important one - nonetheless a piece. We are part of something bigger and more powerful than us, and yet we make it all about us.” - This is what I wrote only after a week in Nepal. The profound compassion and sharing between individuals and their surroundings made me really see community from a different perspective.

Chandrabadni Temple in Tehri Garhwal, India

Frankly said, I feel like we lost a bit the essence of it. It’s not about how many members we gain monthly, or how many likes our posts have. It’s not about how much return on investment we have, or how many events we can squeeze in a month. It’s about creating intentional change, serving others and helping each other grow and expand. It’s about seeing each other, and accepting all our facets. It’s about giving. Or as Durga said, it’s about being happy when we make others happy. Simple as that.

So maybe entering this year, we as community builders can try to build such spaces for others in “the Nepalese and Indian way”. Full of respect, compassion, love, and connection. How can we make our communities healing and intentional? How can we go beyond the practices and frameworks and make it all about people again? I will end with a quote that deeply resonated with me, and hopefully it will with you too.

“Community is first of all a quality of the heart. It grows from the spiritual knowledge that we are alive not for ourselves but for one another.”